I had planned to write another Battle of the Apps post tonight, however on my way home I was listening to the Happy Mum, Happy Baby podcast which is hosted by Giovanna Fletcher [it is a truly brilliant podcast btw]. It was the episode with Deborah James and Tracie Gledhill who were on together to talk about their experiences of being diagnosed with cancer whilst having children. I honestly cannot imagine what they are currently going through right now, they strength way beyond what I will ever know. It broke my heart listening to them talk about the reality they are currently facing, in fact so much I had to stop listening to it [I will finish listening to it. I will. I want to].
All of a sudden writing a post about my favourite blogging app didn’t seem quite to appropriate. SO, I am going to talk about the reasons why my experiences as a child and growing up puts my off having children myself.
Growing up, I knew I wanted to have my own children one day. I loved kids, and I couldn’t wait for the day I found out I was pregnant. Today, it couldn’t be further from the truth. I am terrified of having children, for the simple reason that I do not want to cause them the similar heartache that I have been through.
I know you can’t protect your kids forever, and that actually exposing them to different experiences whether that be positive or negative builds ‘character’ – and that may well be true. But I know how long it has taken me to get over the troubles I have faced in life [such as loosing my Dad] and I am really am terrified of causing them even a tenth of that pain.
The strength it has taken to get through the last six years of my life. I don’t want the same for my children. I want to be able provide them the best life with the best experiences that I could possibly give them, and not being able to give them that – scares me.
What scares you about your future?