WOW! I literally don’t know what to say other than WOW! As I am writing this I have already had 267 views on my website. In the two short days since launching it which, is far more than I could have ever of imagined. I mean, I have never been this popular, ever! [cringes – sorry]*
*This is my first thank you to everyone who has looked my website, and everyone who will look at it again.
When I re-started this journey on 01 June, I never expected I would ever be in this position. I really am so very grateful [I know I say this a lot, but I genuinely really mean it]. Numbers shouldn’t be the central focus, for me its not, but it is the recognition that comes with it. But there is a reason why this means quite so much to little old* Soph.
*Old: (by definition of personality type) enjoys being cosy, blankets and warm hugs…wait, now I sound like Olaf!
…SUICIDE. One word. A shattering of worlds…
In 2013, my Dad ended his own life. As I sat in our lounge with my Mum, two police officers gave me the news that changed my world as I knew it. SUICIDE. One word. A shattering of worlds.
At 17 years old, I had already lived through so much, innocently and perhaps blissfully unaware of its seriousness, the emotional abuse, the physicality of my ‘relationship’ with him. [imagine, I thought being pinned against a wall by my neck was ‘normal’]. Suddenly, my childhood as I knew it, violently [pardon the pun] flipped on its head.
…I turned graphic design and illustration…
My goals and dreams that I once had were suddenly replaced with a dark cloud of depression, fear and anxiety, which, still manifest themselves with my life today. Although anxiety is much more the leader these days. I was never arty at school, and it wasn’t until about this time last year I turned to graphic design and illustration to channel my thoughts [believe it or not, I am completely self taught].
The love and joy it provides me with, through bringing someones ideas to life and the feedback I receive as a result of this, has provided me with a love of life I had forgotten even existed. The thrill of even the smallest amount of success has fulled my fire to reach my goals* more than anything has over the past few years.
*I just wanted to take this opportunity to interject that the goals I have today are 100% times different than the goals I had five years ago. I never expected to be in the position I am today. If you feel like you have lost your direction in life, don’t give up! Find new goals, open new doors and don’t be afraid of the dark – create the light.
…and so that is WHY every like, kind comment, retweet or follow, means so very much to me. It gives me the validation that this world we live in isn’t all bad, and that life itself can be full of joy and hope*.
*This is my second thank you, for all of the support I have received. THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU!
This is me, and finally, I think I am exactly [almost] where I want to be [anyone else singing The Greatest Showman in their head?! – no, just me?].