Years. In fact, months, I have been dreaming of this very moment where I could finally say I was buying a house. I have been saving every penny, to build up enough money for a deposit on a house. All of a sudden, I HAVE BOUGHT A HOUSE.
Ordinarily, I would be thrilled – in fact I am, I really am. We [myself and my boyfriend Ben] have bought a house WELL beyond our wildest dreams. It is a beautiful, south facing, three story house which is going to look over a massive green park. It has three bathrooms, three bedrooms and a study. I am really excited, I love cleaning so I cannot wait to be able to have my own space, which I can hoover to my hearts content.
However, despite this, I am very worried. About many more things that I have time to list. Yet, at the same time, I am no where near as worried and anxious as I thought I might be. The thing is, [that I find with my anxiety anyway] is that most of my worrying occurs when I worry about the different possibilities or outcomes of what could or might happen.
My anxiety was very high when we first reserved the house, all of sudden I found myself unable to back out of it – not that I wanted to but, ya know, anxiety often tries to convince me to run for the hills.
I also thought that I would be a lot more stressed about the huge debt that will now have following me for the next 30 years, let’s face it, I had a huge breakdown when I spent £1000.00 on my camera. But, I have felt different about this.
The truth? I have worked so hard to turn my life around, returning to college and completing my A Levels in a year, starting a degree whilst working full time with two other jobs. Buying a house? The last thing on my list ticked off. I have been waiting my whole life for this very moment. Five years ago I knew where I wanted to be and I was very far away from that. Working hard since then, has been nothing but worth it and no anxiety is going to stop me for getting there.
Now I have [almost] got the house, WHO would like interior posts? Something very different to my usual style but I’m up for it, if you are?