Years. In fact, months, I have been dreaming of this very moment where I could finally say I was buying a house. I have been saving every penny, to build up enough money for a deposit on a house. All of a sudden, I HAVE BOUGHT A HOUSE.
Ordinarily, I would be thrilled – in fact I am, I really am. We [myself and my boyfriend Ben] have bought a house WELL beyond our wildest dreams. It is a beautiful, south facing, three story house which is going to look over a massive green park. It has three bathrooms, three bedrooms and a study. I am really excited, I love cleaning so I cannot wait to be able to have my own space, which I can hoover to my hearts content.
However, despite this, I am very worried. About many more things that I have time to list. Yet, at the same time, I am no where near as worried and anxious as I thought I might be. The thing is, [that I find with my anxiety anyway] is that most of my worrying occurs when I worry about the different possibilities or outcomes of what could or might happen.
My anxiety was very high when we first reserved the house, all of sudden I found myself unable to back out of it – not that I wanted to but, ya know, anxiety often tries to convince me to run for the hills.
I also thought that I would be a lot more stressed about the huge debt that will now have following me for the next 30 years, let’s face it, I had a huge breakdown when I spent £1000.00 on my camera. But, I have felt different about this.
The truth? I have worked so hard to turn my life around, returning to college and completing my A Levels in a year, starting a degree whilst working full time with two other jobs. Buying a house? The last thing on my list ticked off. I have been waiting my whole life for this very moment. Five years ago I knew where I wanted to be and I was very far away from that. Working hard since then, has been nothing but worth it and no anxiety is going to stop me for getting there.
Now I have [almost] got the house, WHO would like interior posts? Something very different to my usual style but I’m up for it, if you are?
It seems pretty natural to get anxious about this, it’s a huge step in life but also a really exciting one! I’d love to see interior posts, homeware is my absolute fave thing.
Megan // https://pixieskiesblog.wordpress.com/